Idiots on my stage

Occassionally in this play of life we encounter characters that in a different context we would loathe for all the right reasons - no personality, no sense of humour, unacceptable maturity levels (low, high or otherwise), unacceptable reactions to intoxicating substances (legal, illegal or otherwise), bad body odour, ownership of cowboy hats...the list could go on. The problem usually stems from the relationship that these unfortunate characters have with a beloved character. At first, one wonders how the beloved could possibly entertain thoughts of friendship with such poor specimens of humanity. Could beloved have some kind of disturbance to the brain stem or a severe case of social loyalty that causes an irrational love for these people? After it becomes clear that the beloved cannot be swayed from these feelings, one must resign oneself to the fact that these untowards must be integrated in your cast of characters and make an appearance on the stage at least weekly - possibly more. The difficulty with these guest appearances is integrating them into the plot with minimal disruption or conflict - particularly when the protagonist is a hot-headed loudmouth. And as head writer and director of my play I am stumped by how to proceed in such a plot. I've tried acting through two storylines - one involves befriending these characters (a high degree of oscar-nominated acting is required here) and the other involves being openly beligerant and judgmental. Neither have adequately resolved the issue, but I'm not sure if anything ever will. Because really, no good story was ever conflict free.
I'll let you know how the story unfolds.

In the presence of idiots

there should really be a service where you could hire a consultant to come to your workplace, identify all of the idiots and then make their idiocy known to not only their bosses but also to them. the worst kind of idiot is really the kind that thinks they know of what they speak. they sit in meetings and initiate long-winded conversations (usually involving technology) which they have absolutely no training or experience in and then proceed to debate and challenge the decisions made by others on the team. now, i'll be the first to admit that i'm pretty much a huge snob and that i'm quick to label others with the "low-literacy" label...but i feel that at this point i can take it no longer. i have a workplace idiot. let's call him mr.smug. mr.smug needs to die a slow, horrible, cancerous death. and no, if you knew him you would know that this is not overly harsh.

Vege Challenge: The Winner!...well okay, third place

my lapse from carnivorism was rewarded this week when i found out that i came in third place in the vegetarian challenge! yay me! they published my tragic story (along with some similar tragedies) and then asked me to choose my prize. that's right, i got to CHOOSE my prize. i love hippies. haven't found out exactly what it is yet, but i'm sure it won't be mcdonald's gift certificates.

Second base with the devil...

we've now moved on from just shaking hands with the devil and rounded the corner to second base...that's right, the devil has his hand up my shirt.
after many sleepless nights and ethical mind cramps i believe that we've almost reached a decision in the MammothBookstore Inc.* "health expert" process. after meeting yesterday with a little twat that i could easily see fitting into the Mammoth environment, i became swayed by the promise of free books and expert recognition. now i know i know, i should be able to control myself but i am an honest to god bibliophile. i'll admit it. the thought of boxes of free books coming in every month sends little excited chills up my spine.
back in the day i used to do processing for a public library system, and every friday we'd have four huge boxes full of new materials...it was pretty much christmas morning for me every friday.
....but i digress.
eh hem (that means clearing of the throat), Mammoth owns my soul. may the book gods forgive me for my sins.



*name has been changed to protect the innocent, namely me.

A few fun things that happened at the airport...

on my recent trip to North Carolina for a canc conference (good times) i had to travel from toronto to chicago to greensboro then to washington and back to t-dot. out of the four airports, two i had never been to and that always makes for an exciting time. what do i mean by exciting? hmmm
1. the customs man who believed that my hot rollers contained some type of explosive device and insisted that i demonstrate how they worked before allowing me through to wander the duty free.
2. the CHEAP liquer that i was able to take advantage of upon entering said duty free. hello kahlua.
3. americans. i mean c'mon. they have flat, nasaly accents. they wear huge pyjama pants and still manage to show their panty lines and they eat amounts of food that enable you to actually hear their intestines straining.
4. magazine stands. it doesn't matter that i have a hard drive full of work, three reports to read and a presentation to prepare...the sight of a wall plastered with novembers best magazine covers pretty much lures the cash from my wallet like a pedophile in a t-ball chat room.
5. starbucks. now i have to admit that on my flight from toronto to chicago i actually had the gall to ask the stewardess where i might find a starbucks once we landed...she guffawed at me and patted me on the head saying "aww, they let this little retarded girl fly all by herself today". i realized why this reaction was warranted once i step onto illinois land and practically tripped on a latte every twenty feet from then on.

good times. i love to travel.

What do I love about North Carolina?

....well, there are many answers that I'll get into later (mostly involving the close proximity of various american stores near my hotel) but so far it's the fact that the scale in my bathroom tells me that I'm ten pounds lighter here than I am at home.
In North Carolina I'm skinnier. I like that.

Veg Challenge: the last supper...veggie style

well, today was the last day. and i have to say that it was a breeze. mostly because i was working from home and not tempted by outside world pleasures. it's been a pretty smooth week, albeit with a few temptations along the way. i have to say that it wasn't that much of a deviation from the normal state of my world, except for the fact that i was refused from even considering any meat products...and we always know what happens when you're *refused* something....you want it even more. so whereas i may have chosen the chickpea curry anyway, the fact that grilled beef tenderloin was staring me in the face, taunting me, my decision was fraut with tension. and while i'm sure the vegetarian challenge people would like the ending of my story to state that i'm a changed woman, that i'll never lick another hotdog in my life...i just can't say it's so. while i admit that subconsciously i feel superior by eating healthier, i can't say that i've had more of a spring to my step, that my body is lighter and leaner after seven days detoxing from meat juice. no, no i can't say that. will i keep it up? well, it did make it easier for bf to kiss me :)
breakfast: latte, yogurt, banana
lunch: veggie panzerotto, diet dr.pepper
dinner: buffet meal at le commensal (downtown veggie motherload)...absolutely delicious

Veg Challenge: Day 6

ahh well, at this point it's all just rolling with the punches. today was much easier with me in the driver's seat (as far as my food was concerned anyway). only one day to go and i think i've done pretty well. i've only been seriously tempted twice, and once wasn't even really for meat but rather gummy bears made from gelatin.
breakfast: very berry smoothy with energy boost powder (mmm i'm addicted to booster juice)
lunch: deep-fried tofu; vegetarian wonton soup (both from Vegetarian Haven)
dinner: miso soup; vegetable tempura; avocado roll; wine

Veg Challenge: Day Five!!??

holy shit, how can it already be day five!?
okay, today i started to crack. things were going well at breakfast (other than the whole fat content issue) but the catering was *amazing* today. therefore making it all the more difficult.
breakfast: soy latte; chocolate croissant; fruit bowl
lunch: portobello mushroom wrap; green salad; diet coke
dinner: ok. i have a story about dinner first. because i need to identify how insanely difficult it was for me to stay veg this evening. after our conference day today the lead team all went out for dinner (clearly on the expense account) to this very amazing moroccan restaurant. so we look over this deliciously short menu and i realize that there are only two vege entrees...and a TON of delicious looking lamb, beef and fish dishes. my mouth was quite literally watering.
i can't even really report on what it was that i finally ate, mostly because i didn't understand the language of the menu, and also because there were so many different ingrediants and spices in the dish that it was impossible to ascertain what was what.
but basically i had:
avocado, tomato and greens salad
some kind of rice, vegetable and fruit stew-like dish
creme caramel
2 glasses of shiraz.
totally delish though, meat or non.

Veg Challenge: Day Four

a bit easy-breezy today...once again thanks to catering and takeaway.
breakfast: half a bagel, cream cheese and jam; fruit salad; soy latte
lunch: a bit more difficult as i had to fight for the few vegetarian lunch entrees. finally elbowed my way to vege quiche and mixed salad.
dinner: two springrolls; fruit jellies and nacho dip (it was games night tonight - appetizers all around); three glasses of red wine.

Veg Challenge: Day Three

Breakfast: Half a bagel, cream cheese, handful of fruit....not enough coffee
Lunch: Ham & cheese sandwich stripped of its ham....still not enough coffee
Dinner: Delicious indian vegetarian thali dinner, diet dr.pepper

....still going strong.

Veg Challenge: Day Two

second day, not so bad. although really, it was the weekend and the weekend for me is all about eating out....so it was more a matter of looking away from the carnie side of the menu. breakfast was a rush because todie and i were off to the Word on the Street festival to accost Shaunessy Bishop-Stall, which we did in fine form...we're pretty much dating him now.
but off topic...
lunch was back to the hot & sour soup, delicious, nutricious and 1.5 minutes of nuking away. no big whoop. dinner i was undecided if i would splurge on some indian takeaway or try to cook something up on my own. after running 5.6 km and realizing i was in no state to visit the local grocer, i decided to raid the fridge of veggie remnants and create a random pasta dish. garlic, tomatoes, red peppers, broccoli and rotini later...i was in business. and quite a delicious business at that. and i have to admit that it was all quite painless.
so far so good, and only five days to go. the tricky part will be negotiating the three business breakfasts & lunches i have lined up for the next three days....catering is usually quite skint with the vegetarian menu and i'm going to tire of egg salad pretty quickly i'll tell ya.

Vegetarian Challenge: Day One

so today, against the wishes of my own body, my inate human nature, my carnivorous soul....i have attempted to start the vegetarian challenge. for the next seven days i will bend my will to stay away from all meat products. this includes chicken, pork, seafood, gelatin and all "meat influenced" foods. this however does NOT limit me from eggs, cheese or dairy...i mean really, a girls gotta have something. thus my blog will serve as a menu keeper for the remainder of my challenge. please pray for my soul.
day one menu:
breakfast: 4 mini cheese danishes (no one said vegetarians were low-fat); milk latte and cranberry juice
lunch: hot & sour soup; pretzels & hummus
dinner: the special at Vegetarian Haven, consisted of tofu balls with a ginger & mushroom sauce and shanghai noodles. totally delish. glass of red wine.
so far so good, other than the fact that my body is brimming with gas and i'm afraid that my bf will touch me for fear of ripping off a loud, disgusting fart... yah, other than that i'm doing great :)

Who wrote these rules?

Watching all of the craziness and chaos going on in the south right now, it's almost impossible to imagine oneself amidst such a complete disintegration of civility and humanity. Now, don't get me wrong...I don't consider myself to live a genteel existence. I push my way to the front of a crowd, roll my eyes when someone asks for a "small" at Starbucks (ugh) and am annoyed when confronted with loud, young children in restaurants, bookstores, shopping malls, sidewalks....in general, any place where I am consumed with my own life details.
That being said, there are several rules that I find Torontonians live by. Rules that not only allow us to demonstrate some "urban-gentlemanliness" but also allow us to live our busy lives at the highest level of busyness possible. Here are a smattering of rules that I enjoy.

Stand right, walk left.

• most certainly one of the most common rules recognized daily and en masse. also an excellent way to differentiate your fellow urbanites from your tourists.

No talking on the subway.

• my friend pennington learned this one the hard way when he was severely shushed by me during a morning commute. i find this rule to be most commonly ignored by students, old chinese ladies and young eastern european ladies. i also feel the most intense hatred for violators of this rule, particularly on weekday mornings.

Make way for those exiting the car.

• another subway rule. and another one that inspires hatred and violence. people who stand in front of the subway door, or push to get on while there is a crowd pushing to get off...these people need to die horrible deaths. possibly a punch to the neck, a knife in the eye or even a swift push onto the tracks.

Internet dating is a standard way of life.

• now this is most certainly a personal one. mostly because i've met the love of my life through this handy little gem. suburbanites or people who live outside this city don't understand the hell that dating can be here. just because i'm crushed into a city of 4.5 million does not mean that i speak to more than 10, hell 5 of them. and the fact that internet dating has evolved passed the axe murderer taking out a personals ad in the local daily does not occur to them.

Dealing with beggars, leaflet distributors, whores and dealers.

• don't get me wrong, i fully support that this group is among the the lower caste of our society (leaving room for Rogers employees, Collection agencies and Scientologists), however they must be dealt with humanely and swiftly. there is a formula that must be followed in an interaction/altercation with any of these folks.
• Step 1: do not make eye contact until confirming that some type of interaction is being initiated on their part.
• Step 2: look them in the eye. if you're unsure of where the eye socket is due to dirt, hair, scar tissue, kohl liner or blackened flesh...simply look towards the highest point of the body.
• Step 3: politely, firmly and audibly say "No, thank you" or "Sorry, no" or "Thanks but I've got all the crack I need right now".
• Step 4: move swiftly beyond the interaction without any hesitation, without looking and without wondering if that crack addict really was looking to buy a coffee.
• Step 5: under no circumstances suggest that the instigator go get a job, go fuck themselves and/or propose some type of physical violence (unless it's the god-lover at dundas square)

That's my rules for now, I know that I'm missing many but I hope that this will be a good intro to gentlemanly/gentlewomanly living.

Through the eyes of chi'dren

Coming back from renting a hideous Hilary Duff movie on the weekend (shut up, I was babysitting) we turned round the alley to come spitting distance from the following sight.
A hooker. In a wide-legged stance with her dress up around her neck. Gyrating her hips in order to adjust herself in what can only be called large, turquoise briefs.
Now, the sight would not have been *so* odd if there hadn't clearly been a penis and ball sack inside of the turquoise briefs, being adjusted and flattened down to disappear under her leopard print sheath.
Ah, now that's sheer class in the city.

I just love goggle searching

Over the past week I've been involved in the mortifying experience of interviewing candidates for a position that was far beneath *most* of their potential. Aside from the few Master's level candidates that were forced to answer some HR gems such as "Define customer service" and "Why did you apply for this position?" (that's why they make the big bucks), there was one woman who appeared to have enough practical experience to knock the rest out of the game.
However, all this experience was for naught when she entered the room looking eerily similar to Liz McDonald from Corrie. Aside from the 50-year old cleavage, the heavy perfume and the undone men's dress shirt, the clincher came when asked the following question:
Question: "Can you tell me how you go about finding quality information on the internet?"
Answer: "Well I just love Goggle. What did we ever do before Goggle."
There are no spelling errors here folks, she did indeed say...GOGGLE.

God i love shit like that.

Hell hath no fury...

Over the past few days, whilst moving into a new condo I have experienced a level of rage, frustration, hatred and blood-thirst rarely felt by the modern lady. Or at least I would hope that these are rarely felt emotions.
What has been happening you may inquire to raise my blood pressure to such unhealthy levels?
Lovers quarrel?
Financial woes?
Life-threatening illness?
No. Nothing but the mere act of dealing with those in the profession of moving people.
All I have to say is...never again. I will rot and die inside these walls just to avoid this atrocious deed ever again.
...at least until next year.

Overheard in the office of a total raging bitch...

The following conversation could be heard outside the office of the librarian today.

Librarian: Hi there, I need to speak to someone about the move that I scheduled for my phone services next week.

Rogers: Yes, Ms. Librarian I have your file in front of me how can I help?

L: Well, this being my fourth call since initially setting up this move, I was hoping that you could clarify something for me. Can you please tell me why I have two emails and a voice message confirming my scheduled move date of July 29th and today I received a voice mail indicating that my connection date has now been moved to August 22?

R: Could I put you on hold Ms.Librarian for one moment while I look into that?

L: Absolutely

[Librarian taps foot in time to the better part of a Go-Go's song]

R: Yes Ms.L it seems that your move has indeed been moved to August 22 and that's most likely due to the Bell technicians strike.

L: Excuse me?
[Silence]
L: Are you FUCKING kidding me!!?? [clearly a rhetorical question, not perceptable to Roger]

R: I'm sorry Ms.L but we need to have a technician come out to do something to the line outside of your condo...

L: Then why is it that the email in front of me clearly states that a technician does not need to come out?

R: [clearly at this point Roger is out of his territory because he becomes slightly incoherent and aside from the ringing in my ears all that i can hear are the words wires, technician, wires, do something, wires.....

L: Ok, ok [blood pressure rising] clearly this is beyond you and I understand that this isn't your fault. But I need to yell at someone right now so unfortunately that person is you. Can I just put in a formal complaint and say that this FUCKING SUCKS. That you guys have me by my balls right now and I have no option but for some guy to get off his ass and come do something to a wire [dripping with sarcastic and mocking tones] so that I can have a phone A MONTH after I move into my new place? I mean seriously, how is this possible? How can this be?

At this point librarian gets a little out of hand and starts ranting about having no control and how she though that by being so prepared ahead of time that she was saving herself this kind of bullshit, but that clearly she was wrong and has no control in the situation.
L. shakes her head as if full of cobwebs and comes back to reality...

L: Ok. Well that's that. Thanks so much for listening, I am now going to hang up the phone and continue screaming in the privacy of my own office.

R: Thank you Ms.L and I......
[As Ms.L was rapidly slamming her phone back in it's cradle she could barely make out R saying have a nice day and thank you for calling Rogers.]

L slams phone down and releases growl from deep within her corporate hating soul.

Look out VoIP...here I come.

Shaking hands with Satan

I experienced a fairly typical plight in the experience of the Canadian librarian yesterday...the very odd relationship of the library vs. Chapters/Indigo (or as my bf calls it "Chaptigo"). A very generous offer/idea came across my desk involving a potential deal with the master of all evils herself aka. Heather. Or as I'm sure she'd like to be called The Heather, a la The Donald.
Now, the deal is a gracious one and potentially advantageous to both parties...yet I find myself dragging my lil' librarian heels.

And even as I prepare to line up at midnight for my copy of the new Harry Potter book (shut up) I still lament the stonghold that currently exists among the booksellers of Canada. Now Toronto is in a *slightly* better situation as we do have some choice among our booksellers depending on specialty, used books, vintage etc. But the rest of the country seems to be in a much more limited situation. For most people the concept of "one-stop shopping" has become the most convenient way to shop, and I myself have been known to frequent the Big Box stores, but I'm always brought back to the idea that absolute power corrupts absolutely.

As much as I'd like to hope that Ms.H wouldn't pull another "Mein Kampf" situation, who can know for sure? The woman has the ability to completely obliterate titles that she doesn't agree with, so who's to say that once she inevitably deals with cancer that she won't take a shining to some bizarro mexican electric prod therapy and impose her new favorite on the front shelf of her "Health Expert" shelf?

I'll tell you one thing, sometimes I think the woman could use a little prod therapy...knowwhatimsayin'? wink wing nudge nudge

Why I'm driving the bus to hell...

Today while standing in line for my BLT wrap, a woman with one leg (most likely amputated due to the cancer she was being treated for) elbowed in front of me at the cash.The following thoughts were thunk by my evil brain:

• Oh, this poor hopalong sue doesn't understand what a line is, or more importantly that she belongs at the end of it.
• Jesus Christ, don't tell me that she thinks she can bud just because she's an amputee.
• Holy fucking shit, she's actually looking around and NOT apologizing for her appalling behaviour.
• Choke on your salmon sandwich and die, bitch.

Yes, apparently I am the most evil form of librarian. So jaded by the constant barrage of cancer information, patient sob stories and images of pussing melanoma that I no longer care for the one-leggeds of the world.

Whatever, deal with it. And leave me to eat my BLT in peace.

The Librarian's Dilemma...Reality TV

So I find myself all alone on a Friday evening...quite unusual really. Usually I'm out with the bf or the bf & co. somewhere out in the city, eating dinner too late and generally drinking too much gin.
But not this evening. After falling asleep while getting my eyelashes tinted (shut up, i am a girl remember) I went back to my Y&E abode and attempted to clean up/pack some junk. But it didn't really happen...I ended up eating the remnants of my fridge and getting sucked into a What Not To Wear marathon. The American version unfortunately, not my fave British version. So no flashing english lady boobs in the 360 room...just midgets wearing Dallas cowboy jersey's and snakeskin boots (seriously).
Really though...this show is MADE for chicks staying home on Friday nights. I LOVE IT. You get the embarrassment factor of following some hideous unknowing git through her week, then you get to identify with her (hey, i thought i was the only one to have fat there) and then you get to see her looking like a total sexpot. Or at the very least, not like a midget playing football....although midgets playing football would also be a really good time.

Overheard in the gutter

a few utterances and events made my head swivel this fine evening down in the yonge/dundas vicinity. here's a smattering:

1. "so's i told him, well okay but if i gotta have a body cavity search then i want HER to do it"

2. a fat homeless woman (how this occurs is the subject for a future blog) was standing behind her man on the escalator down to the local lcbo, all the while turning her torso to and fro and smacking him with her rather immense bosoms. now, i'm not against a little homeless love (especially since I'm reading this amazing book), or a little escalator nookie....but c'mon. that was fucking sick.

i decided today to abandon my hotmail account. i am forsaking the msn behemoth and along with it my previous messenger account. no longer will i be haunted by the ghosts of past dating disasters or forgotten colleagues. sayonara msn.

The scent of a bleeding woman...

i've become convinced that beyond any type of hormonal, caveman explanation that there exists an actual scent that a woman gives off when she is in a committed, satisfying, mature, everything-she-could-ever-ask relationship. In the past week I have twice witnessed a group of women about town, half of them in relationships and the other half wanting to be. And without fail those without end up being ignored and mistreated as compared to the taken women, who are hunted and sought out like bleeding fish in a shark tank.
Why is this? Because a man wants what he can't have? Because it's natural predator instinct to impregnate gang-style? Sick.
And who is the woman that decides to leave the comfort and safety of her relationship to take up with the risk taking shark? Does she assume that she will find more happiness in the fins of another? Does she hope that she can maintain two sharks along with her sanity? Is she flattered by the attention seeking behavior of this new shark and see in him something that might be lacking or lagging in her own neck of the waters?
Who can say.
But I think I can definitively say that whoever came up with the old adage "there are plenty of fish in the sea" wasn't taking into account the fickel shark.

Overheard in the tundra

Leaving the Bay at the Eaton's Centre I overheard the following from a group of American tourists:

Old fat, flag-wearing lady: I wonder if they sell snow shoes in this store?

Overheard in Toronto part deux

Where: Yonge & Gerrard
Who: Two drunk, war-torn, homeless gentleman
What:
homeless homme une: c'mon, yer goin' the wrong way [while pulling homeless homme deux down an alleyway]
homeless homme deux: wha? you don't know.....[while falling drunkenly against alley wall]
hhu: yes i DO, now c'mon. hold my hand, i'll take you
hhd: fuck no man. we're drunk, we're not fucking gay.
god bless the homeless, even they know when to draw the line.

Overheard in Toronto

So last night tim was talking about this amazing site http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/ where people can record random crazy things that they've overheard on the streets of New York. Then today, while I was locked inside the train during a power outage I heard the saddest thing from a four year old girl;

"Daddy, this can't get any worse. First the burglar at home and now the power's out on the train, what could happen next?"

adorable. and we all know my general feelings toward the younger members of the human race...primarily that they should be kept indoors reading hardcovers until they're old enough to understand the rules of public transit. number one on that list being: no talking.

The big condo...

so matt and i went to see the big new condo at the corner of yonge & wellesley....appropriately named "the cosmopolitan". loves it.

http://www.25maitland.ca/

it was quite george and the porn in the bathroom was a lovely touch i thought.
got a good idea of the space, where things could fit, and the different colours i might want to use. not sure if the exhibitionist windows should be covered or not. it is in wellesley village after all, maybe i'll inspire a drag queen somewhere...who knows.

more meaningless ponderances (sp?)....

feeling a little bit more hopeful about work and like it might actually mean something to someone one day...but really, who's kidding who? i'm sick of seeing these secretaries that bring work home for the fear of being pissed on by higher ups. when did it start becoming such a sin to admit that you do actually need a lunch break, that no you cannot be responsible for organizing the calendars of four people, that no you should not have to take unpaid work home with you.
that's the kind of stuff that makes the proletariat blood boil.

but yah. things are going better in general. i still hate the fact that i basically need to sell myself everyday to prove that i'm worth it. and the fact that i've been filling my evenings doing (unpaid) work until midnight. so sad am i. in one final swoop i have plunged to the depths of pathos and on my way home purchased some sephora cinnamon bun bubble bath. just seeing those words now is making me hungry. i plan to soak away my woes and aching muscles in a bath of cinnamon sugar. god help me.

of course i forgot to hit the laura secord to pick up the valentine remnants. i could really go for a chocolate covered cherry right about now....

Even librarians get the blues

I'm totally swamped with work and have a chore list the size of my arm (a sizeable list, take my word for it) and yet, I have the blues.

bf is leaving today for business in the southwest. and it's not that i've ever really been one for valentines day, but that's mostly because i've never actually *had* anyone around to participate in that farce with me. so i'll most likely just go to the sdm and buy some caramel-filled hershey's kisses, wash it down with some little penguin cab and watch the bachelorette whilst hurling expletives at the tv. it'll be a good night for the cat as well.
the other option is to just get on with it, run a few miles, eat some sushi, read a little and hit the sack like any other normal night. better to go with the non-sad girl option i think. cab and caramel are usually a poor option altogether.

ran into the ex-bf last night while doing some smug late-night dinner searching with new bf. it was amazing. mostly because he was unable to hide his seething look of pure jealousy. i shouldn't be so petty as to revel in his misery. yet i do. but then again, real pettiness would involve posting his full name, address, phone number and pointing out the number of social inadequacies and complete lack of intimacy that he is capable of. so see, really not so petty after all.

i read my 2005 horoscope the other night and it actually said that this year would be a good time to get "accidentally pregnant". what the hell? since when did marie claire take it upon themselves to promote breeding? i thought that was left to jane. i decided not to read that part to the bf. i know how such suggestions make the skin crawl and the spidey-sense perk up to full on paranoia.

alright, it's 2:00 and i still haven't had breakfast. time to perk up the blood sugar.

Swimming or drowning? i can't tell...

today was hell. library hell.
i shouldn't even say that, because it wasn't like i actually got to spend 10 minutes in the library today without having to run out to another goddamn meeting.
started off with a ridiculous meeting that had nothing to do with me and i kinda felt like screaming most of the time that i was sitting there. if there was ever a day that i felt more like taking up smoking...it was today.
nonetheless, once i realized that i was tapping my foot waiting for the woman with breast cancer to shut the hell up i figured out that i needed to take a breath and step up. so despite the fact that it's 10:00pm and i'm still working...at least i've had a glass of red to chill me out.
they should teach wine appreciation in library school.

j. expects me to start working on a project that i kinda learned about at 9am this morning. just spent the last two hours installing the software and on the phone with techies. i wonder if he could hear the bachelorette in the background?

but at least i had an old ensure bar in my desk drawer today, so i got to have something for lunch.

thank god for small wonders.
i love my job.
really.
i do.

First time for everything...

well, i've just returned from a conference and was energized enough by blog-talk to try it out on my own. not quite sure what i'll be using it for exactly, so many options.

• a venue for library-related venting and discussion?
• somewhere to talk about how fascinating my life is?
• a place to post pictures of my cat and discuss the various fascinating elements of his existence in my life?

i think that i'd almost prefer to pretend that no one will ever be viewing these postings (shouldn't be hard) and that i can use it as an anonymous, yet intrinsically egotistical way to post my views on the world and my place within it.

and...done.