Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Through the eyes of chi'dren

Coming back from renting a hideous Hilary Duff movie on the weekend (shut up, I was babysitting) we turned round the alley to come spitting distance from the following sight.
A hooker. In a wide-legged stance with her dress up around her neck. Gyrating her hips in order to adjust herself in what can only be called large, turquoise briefs.
Now, the sight would not have been *so* odd if there hadn't clearly been a penis and ball sack inside of the turquoise briefs, being adjusted and flattened down to disappear under her leopard print sheath.
Ah, now that's sheer class in the city.

Monday, August 29, 2005

I just love goggle searching

Over the past week I've been involved in the mortifying experience of interviewing candidates for a position that was far beneath *most* of their potential. Aside from the few Master's level candidates that were forced to answer some HR gems such as "Define customer service" and "Why did you apply for this position?" (that's why they make the big bucks), there was one woman who appeared to have enough practical experience to knock the rest out of the game.
However, all this experience was for naught when she entered the room looking eerily similar to Liz McDonald from Corrie. Aside from the 50-year old cleavage, the heavy perfume and the undone men's dress shirt, the clincher came when asked the following question:
Question: "Can you tell me how you go about finding quality information on the internet?"
Answer: "Well I just love Goggle. What did we ever do before Goggle."
There are no spelling errors here folks, she did indeed say...GOGGLE.

God i love shit like that.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Hell hath no fury...

Over the past few days, whilst moving into a new condo I have experienced a level of rage, frustration, hatred and blood-thirst rarely felt by the modern lady. Or at least I would hope that these are rarely felt emotions.
What has been happening you may inquire to raise my blood pressure to such unhealthy levels?
Lovers quarrel?
Financial woes?
Life-threatening illness?
No. Nothing but the mere act of dealing with those in the profession of moving people.
All I have to say is...never again. I will rot and die inside these walls just to avoid this atrocious deed ever again.
...at least until next year.