Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Don't judge me

wednesday nights have become such a joyous time for me as i get to watch two of my favorite things: fashion shows and people getting judged and mocked. it all rolls together in a wonderful orgy/cornucopia/neopolitan ice cream of goodness in america's next top model. god love tyra banks and her sassy black girl snarl.
tonight we said goodbye to lovely, country gal kari. she was a little bit playboy bunny and a little bit girl in high school that eats french fries everyday resulting in a fat ass but gives really good blow jobs so she's really popular. adorable. i thought she had some really good early-renee zellwegger qualities (ie. body fat) but clearly from this pic she is destined for an ANTM themed porno.
what a good idea....
"america's next on top model"?
yah, that one was lame....i can't come up with anything dirtier, clearly i'm tired.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Patrick was no Saint

i'm still feeling a little bit woozy from the booze up i experienced in honour of my irish patron saint on the weekend...but thought a few images would help to sum up the events.

Before the party. A couple of lovely looking girls with some fresh lipstick and belly's full of complex carbohydrates.

"After" the party...or at least as "after" as we can remember. things got blurry from this point onwards. we are sad, sad little women. Lipstick smeared across face, small specks of spittle around mouth, belly's full of vodka and green food colouring. (just typing that is making me nauseous...more than 48 hrs later)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Librarians Are People Too

today i was checking the stats on my blog, just because i like to see where people of come from, who sent them to my site (kyle) and how long they stayed. you know, typical stalker behaviour. i also find it enjoyable to see the types of keywords people have used when finding my site via search engine. some of the greats so far are "knee itch" (who knows), "partying librarians" (we do like to party) and "shaughnessy bishop stall" (which i pray was not him performing an ego google search as i would most definitely qualify for a restraining order). but the most bizarre one came through yesterday..."librarian assholes".
now, what i'm hoping is that someone has a hate-on for their local library professionals and they were hoping to find a site that would allow them to rant with others about the behaviour they encountered there. similar to a better business bureau. a good idea really, someone should invent such a site. i know a few libraries out there that could benefit.
but what i FEAR from this search is that the user was then sadly disappointed not to have found some graphical representations of information professional ass-play. no judgment, but you are totally sick.
did i mention that this search came from kentucky? 'nuff said.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Running On Empty

Today I ran my third 5km race since October. Suffice to say that I'm quite proud. I mean, to think that in September I could hardly run for 30 seconds without coughing up blood it's actually quite an achievement to now be pounding the pavement for a solid 30 mins and being able to spit out enough energy to actually sprint at the end. shocking. truly shocking. I was 439/1200 runners, 52/181 women in my category and was still 16 seconds too slow to make my goal time, but at least I made it! My whole team did quite well and they all made their goal times, some with time to spare! I think it would be much more difficult if we didn't have an amazing group of people that consistently kicked each others asses. Plus, our sweet little instructor Dean from the Running Room. The man could crack walnuts with his thighs but has the voice and personality of a baby rabbit. Not that I've ever heard a baby rabbit speak, but I imagine it would have Dean's voice....okay, maybe an adolescent rabbit.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Schmacademy Schmawards

This past weekend the annual academy awards took place and for the first time in quite some years a friend of mine had an oscar party. Now, when the creative invites went out for this party i was immediately perked up at the thought of watching the awards with all my friends, all dressed up and eating spring rolls. what else could a girl ask for? for the past five years i have watched the awards alone (aside from several phone calls to out-of-town girlfriends). and as i discovered this past weekend there is a reason for that. i am what is known as a voracious awards show watcher. don't get me wrong, i don't get a boner for any old "people's choice" or "vh1" awards but for the big ones (ie. the oscars, golden globes and perhaps the emmy's) i am glued to my seat. this means that i require:
a) adequate red carpet watching time (usually three hours pre-show)
b) a fine balance between critiquing the obvious costume mistakes and appreciation for the gods and goddesses of the carpet
c) silence during the opening monologue
d) silence during the speeches. yes, all of the speeches. let's not fool ourselves that the best actor consistently has a better speech than the best cinematographer. gafs are made, there are surprises to be had and i want to catch them. so shut up.
e) a running check on my pics against the winners.
i would say that out of my five requirements the party was able to fully satisfy 1.5. happily, i sacrificed watching of the red carpet and some of the monologue/speeches for an excellent round of movie trivia conjured up by my party hosts. it was brilliant...and not just 'cause i won :) another brilliant addition...costumes. it's pretty clear that i love dressing up and making an ass of myself, so i was quite pleased by these additions. i may not watch the oscars with a group again, but come by my house next year and you may just find me dressed as the next Natalie Portman heroine.

The brokeback cowboy and Man in black...our fine party hosts.

The Film Editor

Team Phantom (yes, they know it was nominated two years ago) and Brokeback Cowgirl.
*note - my apologies to Ms.North Country for not capturing her portrait in these images...but she clearly spent all night in the kitchen and the can.