Thursday, September 21, 2006

Attack of the Shingles

I've now been infected with shingles for approximately eleven days. September 11th being the day that they decided to rear their ugly, bumpy, burning-red, itchy little heads.
First of all, who the hell has ever heard of shingles? Apparently only people that were fortunate enough to have grandparents that lived into old age, which leaves me out but does seem to indicate that I have the body of a ninety-year old. Of course, many of my friends already knew that.

Apparently when I was young I had a scorching case of chicken pox (the less sinister sister of shingles) but since it was before conscious life began for me, I can safely say that shingles is one of the sickest sicknesses that I have ever been sick with.
Not just because of the burning, itchy flesh or the constant prickly feeling all over my back and side but because of the invisibility of it all. It's a sonofabitch of a disease that lingers under your skin, pops up in random spots and and then attacks widespread areas of seemingly healthy flesh by lighting fire to all of your nerve endings. It's kind of like when you're foot falls asleep and then you get up and try to shake it out, but before you get that torturously tickly feeling you get that kind of painful pins and needles sensation - it's like that. On my back. All the time.

What's the cause of all this you ask? I suppose that the incessant twitching of my right eye for two weeks should have been an indicator....alas, I'm an idiot. My body was screaming at me to settle down, got tired of me ignoring her and decided to erupt through my flesh.
Much like the scene in Alien.
So now I'm living like an apothecary, shoving every type of vitamin B, C, E, zinc, rosehips, shark cartiledge and opium into my body in an effort to boost my immune system and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE.

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