Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Debbie Does Libraries

this story was posted in Wired Magazine (my new mag de jour) discussing the issue of accessing internet based porn in public libraries.

somewhat interesting story but certainly not a new issue. just another case of fucking dumb people doing fucking dumb things and blaming it on public institutions that work their balls of to serve their idiot clients.
apologies to the faint of heart...i've had a day chock full of the fucking dumb.
i was all set to embark upon a rant about how society is ill prepared to ensure that kids can read or that men stop hitting women or that mcdonald's clean up their patties of shit but if a goddamn boobie is flashed in public?

CALL THE NATIONAL FUCKING GUARD! We've got a loose one here boys!

now if we could only get britney to cover up her cooch.

Monday, November 27, 2006

It's raining men...and they have no shirts on

This was the madness that I found myself in on Saturday at Le Parking in Montreal.
Ah, to be a young gay man with a glistening chest.

Monday, November 20, 2006

This one's for you Linda...

because I can't rest until my mom becomes a fag hag. just like me.

although personally, i like this one much more.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Books 'R' Us

Thanks to MIMB for this little book quiz. Enjoyable.

1. One book that changed your life?

Message from Nam by Danielle Steel. I read this mass paperback edition in Grade 8 and not only did it teach me about the complex politics of the Vietnam War but it also taught me some early lessons in the various adjectives that can be used to describe the throbbing male love bone.

2. One book that you have read more than once?
Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Cliche answer, I know..but it's true! I first read this book when I was 15 and since then I've read it every 5 years - kind of like a tetanus shot. What I love about these rereads is that the plot takes on different nuances and I notice different details as I grow older.

3. One book you would want on a desert island?
The complete stories of Dorothy Parker. Or Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen. Both seering in wit and commentary on their contemporary societies, I am endlessly amused by their female characters.

4. One book that made you cry?
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. I have to agree with MIMB on this one. Make no mistake, there have been several books that have made me weep like a little baby, but this is the most recent. And I sobbed - heaving, body-wracking sobs.

5. One book that made you laugh?
Social Studies by Fran Lebowitz. Her negative, stark and singleton reflections on city life were early indications that I would move to the city and enjoy a childless, latte filled, narcisstic existence.

6. One book you wish had been written?
**Apologies - upon reflection this post has been edited, I thought the question was "one book you wish YOU had written". Which naturally would have been Hitchhiker's.

One book I wish had been written???
Hmmm, I wish that there were "Choose Your Own Adventure" books for adults. Despite the fact that I always cheated, or ignored all the rules and read straight through, I miss those little adventures.
In the same the vein I also wish there to be an adult version following up on the lives of the Sweet Valley Twins. Oh Elizabeth and Jessica, where are you now?

7. One book you wish had never been written?
Citizen Girl by the authors of the Nanny Diaries. I received it as a gift from the bf during our first Christmas together. In theory I should have like it. It was about a girl, my age, struggling to shake off her early twenties and break into her professional years. Plus, it had a picture of a latte on the cover. Good signs all around.

Unfortunately the underpinnings of sexual degradation, harassment and masochism literally made me want to throw up and take a hot shower. It basically ruined Christmas '04. Way to go bf.

8. One book you are reading currently?
I just finished The Immaculate Conception by Gaetan Soucy and am starting The Children of Men by P.D. James.

9. One book you have been meaning to read?
Being a bibliphile - I currently own several books that I have yet to even open.
For a year I've been trying to read Devil in the White City - but the actions of a sociopathic murderer leave me unable to sleep. I don't think I'll ever get through it.
The top of the current "To Read" list would have to be Love in the time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

10. Pass it on Gentlemen.

Movie Meme: because apparently I have alot of time to spare

I found this movie meme over at Modern Fabulosity and despite the fact that I am only in the junior leagues of movie lovers, I couldn't resist.

1. Popcorn or candy?
While I will admit a proclivity for all things gummy I am always in awe of people that bring full-on takeout meals into the theatre and I have always wanted to take my seat with a carton of chicken fried rice and spring rolls.
*but don't get me wrong, one load chew, snort, slurp or burp and I will take my plastic fork and stab you in the neck.

2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever.
Les Cage aux Folles. Yet for some reason I have seen the Birdcage. Don't judge.

3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom?
1998. While I am a Gwynnie lover, I have to say that Cate Blanchett was much more deserving of the award that year for her portrayal in "Elizabeth". She is the best Elizabeth I have ever seen. I mean Gwynnie got to make out with Joseph Fiennes for christ's sake, does she really get an award for that? Although, nice dress and good crying.

4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be?
Even though I wouldn't be able to wear it I would definitely steal the whole kit and caboodle from Nicole Kidman's wardrobe in Moulin Rouge. In particular the little Vivian Westwoodesque piece that she wears in "The Show Must Go On" number. Loves it.

5. Your favorite film franchise is...
I will laugh and any Police Academy movie at any time. I'm a sin, I know, shut up.

6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?
Oh jesus, this is too hard.
Ok...guest list:
Parker Posey (shut up TOdie) - she's wicked and i love her
Jake Gyllenhal - an obvious one, plus he'd be required to eat topless
Maggie Gyllenhal - she needs to be my friend, but she'd have to smoke outside and couldn't bring the baby
John Cusack - he'd probably brood alot but he'd balance out the group
Meryl Streep - because she'd drink all the wine and make us play rude drinking games
Jack Black - because he'd be the only one to make Cusack laugh
Kate Winslet - mostly because my friends would kill me if I didn't invite her, but also because she'd be fun and I imagine using alot of british swear words
Cameron Crowe - he'd have amazing stories and probably bring really good pot. '

We'd eat cheese fondue, chocolate eclairs and alot of alcohol.

7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?
Forced to sit beside the (now bleeding) chewers, snorters, slupers and burpers.

8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days.
Sarah Fucking Connor of course! Hello? Have you seen her arms? And that scene where she stabs the guy in the neck with the needle? Good god.

9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie?
Bob creeping out from behind Laura Palmers dresser. Jesus christ, I get the shakes just thinking about it.

10. Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is?
While I do enjoy a good romantic comedy - I also have a secret addiction for football movies. Sick, I know. But if there's a TBS showing of "Any Given Sunday" or "Rudy" or "The Program"...I'm all over it.

11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power?
First rule: No more political dramas. They're dead to me.
Second rule: No rape scenes. They're no good to anyone.
Third rule: More gag reels.

12. Bonnie or Clyde?
Bonnie. Not only did she have amazing hair and makeup, but her hats were outstanding. Ever since "Truth or Dare" I can't look Warren in the eye. Pussy.

I make no apologies for the sophmoric nature of my movie proclivities, much more academic approach to these questions would be taken by my friend over at Fasten Your Seat Belts

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

One of these things is not like the other

Unbelievably, this is from the CNN web site.
Tsk tsk, isn't this type of headline supposed to stay on the Superficial?

Friday, November 03, 2006

Black Friday

This is going to be a difficult post to get through.
Today I went downstairs....and the fish were dead.
Several of them were lying belly up, or had already sunk down to the depths of the aquarium. They had all been drained of colour, not to mention dignity. At least the receptionist downstairs had the decency to turn off the burning florescent light in the tank. But there was no one to close their little fish eyes and prevent the holes that have burned into my soul.

Poor fish.
May you rest in peace in that big fish bowl in the sky.

And may "Sheldon" (the jerk charged with your care) burn and rot in hell for his negligence.