The summer we tried to kill ourselves with food

Yah that's right, the bf and I occasionally ate like we were trying to off ourselves these past few months. It's what happens isn't it? The hot weather combined with traveling food trucks and fall fairs = death foods. Foods that should require you to sign a waiver or pass a cholesterol test before biting into.

Exhibit A: Tiny Toms Donuts [photo credit rbraeken]

A must-eat when it comes to the CNE but I have very specific requests when it comes to these donuts - I like them to be more crispy than cakey and covered in cinnamon sugar. The bf got plain old powdered sugar this year, and fine I wouldn't kick the donuts out of bed or anything but it still felt like something was lacking.
Years of life lost - 9 years for every dozen.

Exhibit B: The Corn Dog - or Meat on a Stick

I should clarify and extend this exhibit to include any "on a stick" variety of food. I also ate several butter-dipped cobs of corn on a stick this summer- I failed to get a photo because both my fingers and face were covered in said butter.
But back to the corn dog - it was like heaven. For serious. The batter had a bit of a spice to it and the dog itself was a delight. I slathered it with mustard and ate it as slowly as I possibly could just to savour Every Single Bite. The bf and I sat outside the "Food Pavilion" (always my favorite of pavilions) and watched how quickly those around us could demolish their food. I saw a guy eat his corn dog in five bites. FIVE. BITES. His wife (whom and I can only assume is now his widow) sat mortified beside him. We sat in slack-jawed awe.
Years of Life Lost: 2 for the dog, 1 for the coating.

Exhibit C: Deep Fried Mars Bar - or Dessert on a Stick


Okay, so we didn't actually eat this but I did get a snap of the unfortunate lady in charge of creating these death sticks. We did WATCH a guy eat it and let me tell you - that was enough. The same guy in fact that ate his corn dog in five bites ate this - so he's doubly dead. This was the first time I had seen DFMB in real life, I guess I'm sheltered. It's the most hideous, horrifying thing I've ever seen and I can't believe I didn't put it in my mouth [that's what she said].
Years of Life Lost: 27 if you eat it. 5 just for standing next to someone eating it.

Exhibit D: The most glorious peanut butter cup known to man

We bought this while on our mini-break to Blue Mountain Resort which meant that we were well into our weekend of sloth and excess while simultaneously being surrounded by a group of fit mountain dwellers - awkward.
This is the kind of thing that I would dream of every Easter when I dipping my Mr. Solid into the tub of Kraft peanut butter - except that this isn't crappy chocolate and unsweetened PB. This. Is. Heaven - if heaven were made of peanut butter and chocolate. You'll noticed that I actually cut the cup into quarters like a pie, it was really the only way to be done. The bf and I were splitting it and I insisted on seeing the cross-section. See, we aren't SAVAGES.
Years of Life Lost: 4 per quarter.